Rising levels of ‘excessive suspicion’: Spouses keep helpline busy in Gujarat | Ahmedabad News – Times of India

Rising levels of 'excessive suspicion': Spouses keep helpline busy in Gujarat | Ahmedabad News - Times of India

Ahmedabad: On Sunday, Abhiham 181 Women’s Helpline A distress call was received, which turned out to be a completely different kind of problem.
A woman calling from a neighborhood in West Ahmedabad alleged that her husband beat her up after a heated argument. After speaking with the couple, Abhiham’s team found that the altercation was sparked by an alleged tussle over a mobile phone.
“The wife would allegedly take her husband’s phone after he was asleep and go through all his messages, social media posts, video usage history and call logs,” said a counselor who attended the case.
“He said his wife has not been getting proper sleep for more than a month as she stays awake all night looking at the contents of the phone and in the morning raises a problem on a particular call or post,” the councilor said. added. The man tried but failed to convince her to seek psychiatric help.
“We have told the husband that domestic violence is unacceptable and have also advised the woman not to be naive and to seek help if she is under pressure.”
This is one such case. Statistics from the Abhiham helpline show that calls related to extramarital affairs have increased 2.5 times in the last five years. With around 750 calls a month from Gujarat, it was the third most common reason for calling the helpline after domestic violence and harassment.
But the helpline is also seeing an average of one or two cases per day from the state where counselors recommend psychological counseling to couples where both or one of the spouses develop apathy towards mobile phone content.
It is mostly working women who face seemingly controlling behavior from their spouses, said Falgani Patel, coordinator of the helpline.
“We have several cases where women are constantly scrutinized — their spouses ask them why they are getting calls from a male colleague after office hours, why they chatted with someone on WhatsApp. or why they liked or commented on a social media post. Today, the phone is an extension of a person, and we often advise couples to build trust so they don’t have to look for answers from mobile devices.” Patel said.
‘Mobiles are a common cause of discord’
Falgani Patel, coordinator of the helpline, added that many cases of extramarital affairs came to light during the pandemic when working from home became the norm.
“In many cases, the husband or wife first develops suspicion, then obsession that later turns into insanity. They start dissecting details like the duration of calls, and new friends or followers on social media platforms. “In such cases, we suggest that they seek help from a psychologist,” he said.
City-based psychologist Dr Hansal Bhachich said mobile phones have become a common cause of conflict in the past few years. “Spouses are installing software to track their partners’ locations, or they’re mirroring their phones to keep a tab on chats on platforms like WhatsApp. They often ask for passwords and call recordings. But in the long run, distrust doesn’t help save a relationship,” she said.
If the partners have nothing to hide, keeping the devices open is a better strategy, he added. “The definition of personal boundaries may be different for all couples. But if a husband or wife has doubts about something and if they don’t get a satisfactory answer, their indifference is not going anywhere. It is always advised to “They have to overcome their curiosity and develop a sense of confidence,” he said.

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